Omni means “of all things, in all ways, in all places. This is what God is – the All-Powerful, Always Present, Universal Absolute.
If this is so, as I believe and, dare I say, KNOW it to be, then there is not one single part of me that I will not endeavor to love.
I am choosing love, every day in every way.
…and remarkable, miraculous things are happening…
I have this longing, this yearning, for a deep, passionate, connection. Yes, with God, always. But something in me knows this will be realized in human form.
Yet, I dare say I must first give what I want because in so doing, I will know I already have.
All the ways in which I want love are showing up in ways that I am judging. No, not this one. Nope, not this one either. No thanks.
But here it is. I keep asking and receiving yet won’t accept.
This is where I know I cannot withhold from anyone that which I want. Yet, to some I do not want to give – to fore-give. And this is where death to self will happen.
“If someone slaps you on the right cheek, offer the other cheek also.”
Ask not for healing but for right perception.
That seems quite logical. Ask not for change of a shitty situation but only right perception of it. The more I seem to look at my “problems”, I can’t seem to find an alternative situation that would make it “better.” Only different problems surface.
I think of my eating disordered mind that is still harboring old thought patterns. No change in food consumption, hair style, exercise regime, etc. will solve any of these things if my perception of myself continues to be skewed.
I’m not sure where right perception comes from though. Does it just dawn on me? I can’t go searching for it anymore because every perceived answer I come up with seems to be wrong.
Simply ask and wait?
I felt the words rise into my chest and up to my mouth but my lips would not allow them through. My heart began to pound.
I realized in that moment that what I termed anxiety has only been the bubbling of my Power within and my own refusal to allow its free-flowing expression.
I see the beating heart and shaking voice now, not as my anxiety, my deficiency, but my God Within rising to be released and expressed.
The practice now is to trust this uprising, this foreign power – to reacquaint myself with my Self and to trust fully in the perfect rhythm and flow of Life.
Only I can choose to allow Its expression – who am I to deny such a thing?
It was not the weekend I had expected it to be. Great emotion was released.
It came at a time when I was required to practice and send healing to someone else. I was required to give.
The deep inadequacy and unworthiness rooted in my core burst forward. Tears and anger and fear and doubt, they sprung forth from behind my hiding eyes.
I could not participate in the practice exercises for the remainder of the day and, while I wanted to leave, I remained, sitting alone in focused meditation on the presence of my Higher Awareness.
I have not experienced such internal discomfort ever.
By the end of the day, however, my anger at the person who had drawn this out of me had subsided. The dark whole had been flooded instead with gratitude for the space that had been opened.
My cleverly disguised saboteur had been identified – and she still stands close by waiting to sneak in where she sees distraction.
But I see her now. She and I, we can do this dance for as long as she needs but, in the end, the tireless presence of Love will seep into every dark spot and light the way.
I am where I am meant to be and I am not going anywhere.
I am being led in a very specific direction right now and though the obstacles are unlike any other, they are not greater than my knowing that this path I blaze now is The One.
The thing with Awareness, you can’t search for it. It just finds you when you stop looking.
I used to start the music, set the timer, and begin the meditation. My eyes would close, I would open the door to my mind and, instead of welcoming in Awareness, I walked right past it into the forest of mind to find what I thought it was.
I went in search of Awareness but found madness instead.
The timer would ring signalling the end of my meditation. I’d feel frustration, sometimes more than when I’d started, at the obvious failure of my hunt.
Yet, I’ve now been taught that Awareness brings to me only what I need in any particular moment.
I didn’t think the light that I saw shining was the Great Awareness I was searching but I now know there are no levels to the magnitude of Awareness. It just is and will show itself to me when I give myself to It.
As I give, so shall I receive.
Often in our search for God we turn our backs on darkness believing God is only found in light.
We relegate ourselves to one tiny room in the house where the light is already on and we let ourselves believe that one small section of the house will suffice.
But God isn’t found in light, He is light.
If the light is on in one room, the power to light the whole house is surely there.
Be not afraid. Walk the halls, find the dark rooms, and turn on the lights.
Take back your house, your true inheritance.